Don’t know what has suddenly brought this to mind and where I am going with this post, but I am having a few days off from work and the weather is awful. This always happened every time we took the kids on holiday – so much so that one of them rang this week, whilst on his holiday, asking for ideas of where they could visit – the main requisite was that it had to be manorial or baronial, possibly a castle, but preferably with central heating and a roof… Corfe Castle didn’t quite fit the bill.
Now I remember Corfe Castle well, my memories are attached to Bruce desperately looking for petrol (why he just didn’t fill up before leaving civilisation I don’t know…) and watching our boys happily playing amongst the ruins, totally untouched by all the wars and lives which had depended upon the now crumbling walls.
I have a number of work projects that need finishing off, and like my knitting and writing, I can’t leave loose ends with the potential to unravel, so am finishing them in between doing “nice” things – such as washing the net curtains… (I did tell you I had a sad life didn’t I?).
Now where was I ? – the other thing I hadn’t banked on was having a perpetual wall of sound around me, and expecting to interact with me during this break. I have just had another summons for Breakfast – as it is 12.26 a little late I know, but Bruce is nocturnal and it is only the regime of my having to go to work which gives a semblance of structure.
The good news about the bad weather is the roofers across the road have fled for cover, so peace reigns again in the garden, the bad news is Bruce has to have the TV on 24/7 whether he is watching it or not – or even in the same building. I do think though I have found a way around this – I have cancelled the Sky Sub – not nice, but fair….
I don’t feel the same sense of loneliness that some other’s feel when they are not in the company of humans. I love being on my own – in silence – because that is the only time I get to hear what I am actually thinking, instead of simply reiterating and propagating words that others wish to hear..
“that hat really suits you” – (like buggery, it makes you look like Paddington)
“I love that new idea you had” – (crash and burn, oh may you crash and burn…)
“what – no pay rise? – never mind” – (eek – no stash fund [wool I hasten to confirm] where did I put that card from the agency?)
Back to thinking again………..
Place Memory I think the ghost hunters call it, is when you visit a place and you feel the feelings of people who lived there before. They don’t interact with you, but you can sense them.
Well this happens to me whilst knitting, and stormy summer weather during late evening, particularly if there is no TV on. The combination takes me back to Wales, when we stayed with our friends in a cottage.
I quiet time of finding myself and finding others – a time both Toby and I revisit now lots – he because he memories are being awakened by familiar surroundings, me because my memories are where I seek solace when I can’t quite face the future…
